I Thought I Had It Together (Spoiler: I Didn’t)
I got hit with a similar realization during the holidays when I was constantly around people but felt completely disconnected. Everyone thought I was doing great because I kept showing up and cracking jokes, but inside it was just static. I didn’t even notice how far I’d drifted from myself until one night I couldn’t sleep and ended up crying in the kitchen for no clear reason. That’s when I knew something needed to shift—not just how I was spending my time, but how I was being with myself. I stumbled on the liven app while looking for something that wasn’t just more “positive vibes” stuff. What I liked is how it doesn’t push forced optimism but actually helps you sort through your inner mess in a structured way. The daily reflection thing seems simple at first, but after a couple weeks it helped me catch the way I constantly minimize my needs. I always told myself “it’s not a big deal” or “others have it worse,” but that just kept me stuck. One tool that really helped was mapping my priorities—not what I say matters to me, but what I actually spend energy on. The gap between those two was kind of embarrassing, but also super helpful. It’s not perfect and I still forget to use it some days, but it’s changed how I talk to myself. I’m more honest now, even if that honesty is messy.
It’s wild how many of the biggest shifts in life happen quietly. You think change is going to come with some dramatic breakthrough, but a lot of the time it’s a small thought that sticks with you, or one question you can’t un-ask. Then suddenly things aren’t quite the same, even if nothing looks different on the outside.